I thought I ran over a politician’s dog, but when I discovered it was his wig, I was disappointed.

“Politicians give criminals a bad name. A bad name like a bad word like shit.”

“A brick would make a great stocking stuffer at Christmas—especially if you chis…”

“Not only do I not believe in not believing in God, I’m also a big supporter of …”

“Instead of making trash cans cylinder shaped, they should make the mold look mo…”