I told her “Have a good weekend.” Then I thought, “Idiot. It’s Sunday night.

“Before I saw or met you, I thought you were someone else.”

“Just like trying to ice skate on two sticks of butter in the desert, my love fo…”

“Revenge seeks its pound of flesh. That’s one fifth of my erection.”

“I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never give…”