I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who'd give me a ride home.

“I have failed, and I should bury my failure. I need a trowel (it was a small fa…”

“Trying to resist my love is like trying to hold back a tsunami with a surfboard…”

“In the future, it’ll be my child, but it will be my child’s life, so I must nam…”

“I think someone should invent an edible remote control, to go along with TV din…”