I told the tree it was going nowhere in life. It was hurtful, but true. Now, maybe in death it will go somewhere, as furniture.

“At five in the morning, I was half asleep. The whole left side of my body was t…”

“I’ve always felt that the best place to hide a body is in the trunk of a cop ca…”

“She had a perfect smile. She doesn’t anymore, but I do. I have that perfect smi…”

“I am the Magic Chicken of Desire. Just add water. And a brick and a blanket.
”