I took a nap and used a napkin as a blanket. Obviously it was a small nap.


“The military told me I had no depth perception. “What do you mean?” I asked. “I…”

“There’s a pubic hair in my soup. I’m pissed, because I paid for many more to be…”

“My bed’s comforter is yellow. It has to be to hide all the melted butter stains…”

“I take humor very seriously. I also take it three times a day, with meals.”