I type as fast as a ten-legged man who just had eight legs chopped off runs.

“Just because you don’t have an arrest record doesn’t mean you’re not a criminal…”

“My cat will love you more than me. He won’t love you more than he loves me, but…”

“I don't understand people who say they need more "Me Time." What other time is …”

“A mustache on a stick would not only be tastier than a popsicle, but ticklier t…”