I used to live with someone of the opposite sex. It’s called a sister, and I don’t have one.

“There’s a witch in Wichita. As an expert on all things Topeka, I should know. I…”

“Never sit on a freshly painted bench, or stand on a wet wall. That’s a lesson i…”

“You don’t need the Bible to tell you the flesh is weak. Just pinch it and find …”

“A brick could be attached to a parachute and tossed out of an airplane, to test…”