I want a one-bedroom house with cup holders. I want to live in my car, and make the road my home.

“I had a dream my house was on fire, and I tried to rescue all the cats—and none…”

“I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding…”

“I make my own cologne. It’s called “Sweat,” and it’s hard work making it. But I…”

“I’ll leave my disconnected cell phone as collateral, and I’ll call you on it wh…”