I want my last 50 years on this earth to be amazing. Of course, I still want to have 150 years before those last 50 years begin.

“4:00 am—it’s not too early to drink wine, it’s too late. Too late by seven minu…”

“A brick could be crushed into powder, like cocaine, and snorted to stimulate th…”

“Her legs are so long and sexy that I can see them 26.2 miles away. Gatorade.
”

“A tickle, an itch, and a scratch walk into a bar while I was in the corner drin…”