I want to assure you, I’m not that kind of pervert. But don’t worry, goat lady, there’s somebody for everybody. Or anybody for nobody. Maybe I have that backwards, and upside down.

“My thermos does such a good job of keeping my tea hot that it feels like I’m dr…”

“The beautiful part about killing someone with an icicle is the murder weapon me…”

“I work for the nod syndicate. It’s a sleepy job. If I’m caught not sleeping on …”

“I asked her if she’d give me all her love, and she flatly said no. I got excite…”