I want to be a standup economist, because isn’t money funny? Actually, without gold backing our currency, it’s all funny money.

“A blanket that has arms to hold you when you are sad, now that's what I call a …”

“I’ll exhale hot breath into my palm before touching you, because I have cold ha…”

“I don’t care about being cool. I just want to be loved by half the world (100% …”

“I made plans out of hope, expectation, desire, and duct tape, and I broke those…”