I want to be more like James Bond, and less like Ian Fleming.

“My cat’s name is Mr. Dog, and My penis’ name is Mr. Beaver. Ah, but that’s life…”

“If you work in a hospital, you can’t easily fake call in sick to work. Oh, you’…”

“When I talk about love, people listen. And when I listen about love, people tal…”

“The only nutritional sustenance I need is praise, flattery, and potassium in th…”