I want to be the mayor of a small town. A small town I populated entirely with my seed.

“I’d like touch screens better if they were furry, like cats.”

“My penis burns. I guess I should stop trying to put out forest fires with it.”

“If I were to come back in another life, I’d like to be reincarnated as my own c…”

“He seemed to swallow the lie I fed him. I hope he’s not still hungry. If he is,…”