I want to get married, but first I’ll have to get a divorce.

“Mow the carpet, vacuum the lawn, and make love like war.”

“A blanket could be used to say hello to all the goodbyes I’ll never see again. …”

“Would it make you more comfortable if I wore a condom while I shook your hand? …”

“I like sex. Let’s get a group together. You know, for a better discount.”