I want to laugh hysterically into a bucket of water, have my humor imprinted on each water molecule and then drink the funniest drink ever.

“In a recent Gallup poll conducted in France while riding a horse, two out of th…”

“You’re disoriented. You just woke up. You’re in the future. You’ve been asleep …”

“I’m a neat person (interesting), but I’m not a neat person (organized).”

“I can’t charge you 99 cents for a book called 99 Cents For Some Nonsense, becau…”