I want to meet the girl of my dreams, and then immediately try to sleep with her—for between six to eight hours.

“I mopped up my moped off the street, and drove home on the unicycle below my ha…”

“When I’m 42, I’ll have 21 years of experience being 21. I’ll be doubly prepared…”

“Artists exist to show us the world. So do windows.”

“Amputate your leg, and attach it to the underside of your wobbly, three-legged …”