I want to play a game of Solitaire—with my clone.

“Dear Ian, I felt good. I felt like a Christian to the T. Also to the Chris, Ian.”

“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He sh…”

“With over one billion people, I’d say China is the best place to have group sex.”

“I bought a big brown stuffed animal. You know, for dinner.”