I want to screw a license plate into your ass. It’ll say HNK F HRNY


“Having kids and making kids are two different hobbies. I don’t have any childre…”

“I watched the sunset from the comfort of my bathtub, which has a clear bottom s…”

“How will I tell her I didn’t like her ginger snap cookies? Gingerly.”

“A brick could be used as a stamp on a letter, to increase the weight and boost …”