I want to type one of my books into a free online translation website, and convert it from English to German and then publish the results as an exercise in the absurd.

“The best part about being a waiter is all that waiting. Use that time wisely. T…”

“Before I walked into the door, the room got shades darker as a cloud did a summ…”

“I don’t like to celebrate my birthday, because I don’t like taking credit for o…”

“My friends mess around with my friends—and my friends’ bikes. Sex with bicycles…”