I wanted to tell her “I love you” back, but I guess in waiting for the perfect moment (the next commercial break), I ended up completely forgetting.

“If I could rotate my neck 180 degrees, like an owl, I'd go around wearing backw…”

“I don't want to be tied down in a relationship, I want to be tied down during s…”

“I don’t have any upper body strength, but that matches up perfectly with my lac…”

“I want to invent a drug to help people get off drugs.”