I was fashionably late in my unfashionable clothes.

“My bed’s comforter is yellow. It has to be to hide all the melted butter stains…”

“I had no direction until I merged into the left lane. Some people find God. I f…”

“If I ever get a 20-dollar bill, I like to convert it into 20 singles, because w…”

“A blanket could be used to distribute ice cream to dyslexics. Blankets are cold…”