I was forced to eat crow. I was so embarrassed that I would have eaten any other bird, including ostrich.

“I didn’t want to go, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to be invited.”

“I like to schedule dentist appointments for March 32, otherwise known as April …”

“I don’t know dick about vaginas.”

“A brick could be used to bring about a pantsless revolution. A zipper is just a…”