I watch my feet as I walk along. Left, right, left, right, why is everything about politics?

“If I could rotate my neck 180 degrees, like an owl, I'd go around wearing backw…”

“I did a face plant. Ivy was her name.”

“Like my grandpa, who dropped out of school to farm, I have a 4th grade educatio…”

“If given the choice, I’d take five ones over a five-dollar bill, because women …”