I went on a road trip with my cat, Cap’n. I would have let him drive, but he was drunk.

“I need a Caution: Slippery When Wet sign, because I just spilled my ego all ove…”

“My ex girlfriend, she gave great log cabin. But she couldn’t write a speech lik…”

“Most people don’t know where money comes from. Even most of our elected officia…”

“We have no secrets from each other, though sometimes I wish some things were mo…”