I went to visit my dad. He didn’t say a word to me. Or if he did, I couldn’t hear it through the grass, the dirt, and his coffin lid.

“Yesterday I memorized Shakespeare, and tomorrow I'm also going to memorize his …”

“My information is based on yesterday’s newspaper. But that’s OK, because I’m li…”

“This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke up the neighbors. So…”

“Faith: a device of the mind, fed by the soul, that functions like crutches to a…”