I wired my gas pedal to my stereo, so now when I crank up the volume the car accelerates.

“You’re used to being the smartest guy in the room. Solitary confinement will do…”

“We made love like we didn’t, only more so less.”

“I want to be able to Foxtrot, without actually getting fur on my clothes.”

“Show me how to lactate, and I’ll be the best mother a father could be.”