I wish I could bottle up my penis and sell it at a garage sale. But first I need to get a garage.

“I don’t have a tan because I only come out at night. The only sun I get is refl…”

“I’m into older women, because all women are older women. Every second the woman…”

“I’m trying to liquidate my assets. Somebody get me a straw.”

“Who art thou? Are you art, or a guy named Art? Doesn’t matter. What does matter…”