I would crack a smile, but I don’t like breaking things.

“He has wisdom beyond his years. He’s 87-years-old, and he’s at least as wise as…”

“Love is like a corn-dog popsicle, and I’m on the Most Wanted list. Unfortunatel…”

“If I were a parent, I would feel like nudity should not be on the back of any m…”

“Garbage truck beepers belong in a symphony. Or would that really put the phony …”