I wrote something for my local newspaper, but nobody read it because it got buried in the obituary section.

“I think you’re funny, and the toilet sounds like a soda can opening when it flu…”

“Alzheimer’s is the cleverest thief, because she not only steals from you, but s…”

“Good art is like a sexy pair of lips—it has the potential to say so much, but p…”

“The other day I woke up to find my girlfriend already gone from the house, and …”