I’d like to assess all the asses on the beach. By hand. I should try to get a sponsorship from an oven mitt manufacturer.

“We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and…”

“Everywhere I go, I’m second to arrive. My reputation precedes me, and sometimes…”

“If I fail to succeed, I have succeeded in failing.”

“I don’t drink water, because if water can erode rock, think what it can do to f…”