I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.

“I’m building a hot air balloon out of my love for you. I’m starting with the ho…”

“A brick could be used to say hi to Pink Floyd.
”

“I’ll throw some dirty clothes under your car and claim you ran over my anorexic…”

“She was very close to my heart. Even though we were separated by a distance of …”