I’d like to make a statement, and I’d like to make it out of my own small intestines.

“With four tires on every car in the world, there’s too much rubber. All the Joh…”

“Accepting your help, I’m not doing it for me—I’m doing it for you. You need to …”

“Fornication: Do it for the kids. Just not at their birthday parties.”

“I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when…”