I’d make a great politician. I’d make it out of pig shit, so it wouldn’t be as foul as it is now.

“North, south, east, west, I need to find a nude erection to point the way.”

“Love walked in the door like a dusty cowboy, and I looked that cowboy dead in h…”

“You know what show I thought was a riot? Live coverage of Egyptians overthrowin…”

“A brick is a mode of transportation, for a bug going nowhere in life.
”