I’d never trust a surgeon who didn’t wear gloves when he operated. Even if those gloves he didn’t wear were boxing gloves. He might as well, because I know he’s going to beat me up over the price.

“A brick could be used as a response when the cops ask you if you murdered your …”

“When I was 18 I got bitten by a snake, and since then I have refused to vote fo…”

“Lay on me, and let my heat escape up to you, while you’ll act as my insulation …”

“Being in the womb was like taking a nine-month bath. I wanted to take a shower,…”