I’d punch a guy that likes a girl 16 years younger. Especially if that guy was 18 years old.

“Don’t step on my toes. Especially if I’m walking on my hands.”

“Love is like a portable lamp/sex toy. The world calls those flashlights, but I’…”

“Whenever I see a strange man at a urinal, I always approach him slowly and say,…”

“I have about as much practice sleeping as everyone else, though I’d like to hav…”