If a handicapped woman says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask her if that includes parking.

“50% of sales are going to come from women buying it for men, but where are the …”

“I want to be the kind of person that kind people like and want to be like.”

“In these modern times, the only sensible thing to be is nonsensical.”

“You could get 50% wrong and you’d still get 50% right. That’s nearly half!”