If a man’s a constant hand-shaker, he must be a politician or a crook—or both, if he is a politician.

“A blanket really makes the bed. Good thing too, because I never make the bed.
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“In the long run, a treadmill’s a great investment.”

“I saw a bottle of conditioner the other day that said, "Family Size," and I tho…”

“Helen Keller, she just can’t see how much I love her. Also, she acts like she c…”