If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave.

“I’m opening a restaurant called “To Go.” You’d like to go to To Go, but would y…”

“I make music like I make love—in a group. OK, so I’m not in a band, and I sing …”

“A blanket could be used to help acclimate your body for your after death experi…”

“When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a short…”