If I can just find my wife’s foot under the covers, I know everything will be OK. Then I can put that foot where I hid the rest of her body.

“Everybody loves you, but not as much as me. I love you more than any single per…”

“I like being right more than I like keeping friends. Certainly this leaves me l…”

“I wanted to say Thank You in sign language, but instead I sneezed and ended up …”

“I added three letters to my resume. No, not MBA or PhD. I added ZXQ, because th…”