If I exhaled parachutes, I might breathe from great heights.

“There was an eerie quiet about last night, like death sleeping on the beach of …”

“My life motto: My brakes are broke, but luckily my gas pedal works just fine.
”

“I never hit below the belt, especially if that belt is the rust belt and I’m in…”

“A disobedient child is one who blinks of his own volition, without being told t…”