If I fail to succeed, I have succeeded in failing.

“She yawned so loudly that I wanted to use her mouth as a putt putt golf hole.”

“I have a double-breasted suit. It’s got four nipples stitched on the front (two…”

“I want to end global hunger by feeding half the world’s starving people to the …”

“I thought she was sexy until I noticed she had a beard.”