If I had a half, I’d split it in half and share it with you. That’s love. Then I’d go find the other half and enjoy the whole thing by myself.

“I’m on a shoestring budget, which means I don’t have any extra money to buy the…”

“I’m so lowbrow that I don’t want to grow a unibrow, but I do want to grow a uni…”

“Don’t go on a ghost tour, because you won’t see a ghost. Well, you might. Maybe…”

“Not only did I not get it done, but I’m over budget too. I’m like a politician.”