If I hung out with Van Gogh, I don’t know what we’d do. We’d just play it by ear, I guess.

“A brick could be used as a deodorant deterrent. Just ask any stinky Congressman.”

“The best way to get America back to work, and reduce our deficit, is hire all t…”

“I've never had cyber sex. My penis won't fit in the USB port. . . at least not …”

“I cried so hard after I put my cat to sleep. I guess I shouldn’t have cried so …”