If I knew beforehand that I’d need a good backhand, I’d never have taken up tennis. Or bitch slapping.

“I like a man who pauses to reflect, while pausing in the mirror to reflect. I c…”

“Is love the cereal or is love the milk? Neither. Love is the spoon.”

“The police made sure he wasn’t dead. Then they killed him.”

“A blanket could be used to lure politicians to your side of an issue. Which is …”