If I owned the Grand Canyon, it would be my largest antique.

“Books allow you to take flight, unlike the chicken wings I stapled to my back b…”

“Whenever I drink, I always have one too many. Of course, I only ever drink one.”

“A brick could be used as a Sexual Orientation Device. But I don’t need it, beca…”

“Nobody can make you feel ignorant but you—the you from before, the one who skip…”