If I run for office, my political platform will be made of wood, and it’ll be made by the people.

“I don’t like boxing. I prefer bagging.”

“I’ve always wanted to make love to a triangle, but I’m always two angles short.…”

“I wear brown shirts to protect against the combination of coffee and clumsiness…”

“There’s a new wine I want to try. I heard about it through the grapevine.”