If I were as tall as the day is night, I’d be a midget.

“If you put a long-haired wig on and ask nicely, I might sit on your back and ri…”

“I used to think that Satan and all the fallen angels were the most evil beings …”

“If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave.”

“I was in Love once. I think I stayed at a Holiday Inn. Or maybe I was in Lovela…”