If love were seaweed, I’d ask myself one question: Are you the sort of person who’d swim through it, or would you rather eat it? As for me, pass me my Speedo, and a spoon.

“It’s now 4:17 am, and I just got done dealing with Mrs. Indianapolis, of Indian…”

“A blanket could be used to trick a bull into charging at you. After you trick t…”

“I had to stop selling stick-figure portraits of women at the beach, after too m…”

“A blanket could be used as Concealment Revealer. It both conceals and reveals, …”