If my chest grew cat hair, I wouldn’t know whether to pluck it or pet it.

“So I just got a call from the hotel, and they want me to start work tomorrow. I…”

“The thing that has impacted life on earth the most is life on mars. That’s wher…”

“I’ve got semen stains on my shirt, and spaghetti stains on my underwear. Ah, bu…”

“A brick is slow, when it’s lying on the floor. But fast when just thrown.
”