If my life’s work could fit on a stamp, I’d want you to lick it before I die.

“A brick could be strapped to the back of a pet gerbil, to teach it how to swim.…”

“Thoughtlessness—I try not to think about it.”

“I am the alligator of love. But I’d make better boots than a lover.”

“I’m not a good liar, and that makes me a good liar, because liars are bad, and …”